


dear ryan

by vicesgerard



Series: Dear You [1]
Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Child Abuse, Confessions, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Let's be honest, Letters, Love Confessions, Love Letters, M/M, but honestly fluffy ryden is the shit, co-written with my friend deliah (iampanic) on wattpad, this is such a quick read holy fuck, yeah ok imma shut up and let you read now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2019-06-08 08:11:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 41
Words: 1,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15239127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vicesgerard/pseuds/vicesgerard
Summary: dear ryanyou looked so stunning todaydo you believe in love at first sight?lovebrendon





	1. love at first sight

31st of august

dear ryan

 

i saw you for the first time in school today

you looked stunning

then you saw me

and you smiled for a second

do you believe in love at first sight?

 

love

brendon


	2. my anxiety is making it hard for me

1st of september

dear ryan

 

i really want to talk to you

but my anxiety is making it hard for me

i wish you'd make the first step

 

love

brendon


	3. you looked beautiful

3rd of september

dear ryan

 

i saw you at the library again today

you were so focused on writing

you looked beautiful

i didn't want to interrupt you

i didn't know what you were writing

but i know it must be something great

 

love

brendon


	4. am i weird

7th of september

dear ryan

 

my friend caught me staring at you today

he told me that it was super weird

am i weird?

i don't know

i just can't take my eyes off of you

 

love

brendon


	5. i've never seen anything so perfect

8th of september

dear ryan

 

i saw you with one of your friends today

i don't know what you were talking about

you laughed

i've never seen anything so perfect

 

love

brendon


	6. do you see me

12th of september

dear ryan

 

do you take notice of me?

do you see me?

do you see me the way i see you?

i don't know you

i wish i did

i wish i would find the courage to talk to you

 

love

brendon


	7. i'm worried

13th of september

dear ryan

 

you looked sad today

you didn't talk to any of your friends today

you always talk to you friends

are you okay?

i'm worried

 

love

brendon


	8. i hope you're okay

14th of september

dear ryan

 

you missed school today

and i missed you

i hope you're okay

 

love

brendon


	9. i wish i could see your beautiful face

16th of september

dear ryan

 

you haven't been to school for a few days

i wish i could see your beautiful face

i heard how your friends were talking about you

they seem worried too

i miss you

 

love

brendon


	10. who hurt you

17th of september

dear ryan

 

i saw you today at lunch

you had a black eye

who would do that to you?

who hurt you?

you don't deserve this

 

love

brendon


	11. i'm thinking about talking to you

19th of september

dear ryan

 

i'm thinking about talking to you

i've imagined a thousand conversations with you

will i ever have the guts to talk to you?

i might as well just keep staring

 

love

brendon


	12. i love the sound of your voice

20th of september

dear ryan

 

we talked in the library today

it was you who started the conversation

i love the sound of your voice

but you sound hurt

are you hurt?

 

love

brendon


	13. i don't believe you

21st of september

dear ryan

 

you looked sad again today

i asked you what was wrong

you said nothing

i don't believe you

but i won't press you

but i'm always here for you

 

love

brendon


	14. i wish you knew

3rd of october

dear ryan

 

the more i get to know you

the more perfect you are

i don't even think you realize how perfect you are

i wish you knew

 

love

brendon


	15. you sounded hurt

4th of october

dear ryan

 

you called me today

you sounded hurt

you came to my place

i just hugged you tightly

you looked at me

you started telling me everything

 

love

brendon


	16. you'd be safe here with me

5th of october

dear ryan

 

i wish you could stay at my place forever

you wouldn't have to face your father ever again

he could hurt you

you'd be safe here with me

 

love

brendon


	17. you mean so much to me

6th of october

dear ryan

 

i wish you were happy

i'm not stupid enough to think that i can fix you

but i'll try

you mean so much to me

 

love

brendon


	18. being happy suits you

7th of october

dear ryan

 

i made you laugh today

you laughed at the top of your lungs

it was so beautiful

you are so beautiful

please stay that way

being happy suits you

 

love

brendon


	19. you started crying

9th of october

dear ryan

 

i showed you my scars today

you started crying

then you grabbed my arm and kissed my scars

i told you that i had stopped and that it was okay

i stopped harming myself the day i saw you

i got a tingly feeling all over my body when you touched me

 

love

brendon


	20. you were already looking

10th of october

dear ryan

 

we had a sleepover last night

we were watching movies and ate popcorn

at one point our hands touched

i looked into your eyes

you were already looking

you kissed me

 

love

brendon


	21. you're saving me

12th of october

dear ryan

 

we were holding hands in school today

everybody was watching

i didn't feel my anxiety

it's because of you

you're saving me ryan

i'll do my best to save you

 

love

brendon


	22. i love being there with you

13th of october

dear ryan

 

we were together in the library again

i love being there with you

we hid behind a bookshelf

you kissed me

i kissed you back

i'm in love with you ryan ross

and i hope just maybe

you're in love with me too

 

love

brendon


	23. he freaked out

14th of october

dear ryan

 

we were at your place today

we were in your room and we kissed

your father came in

he freaked out

he grabbed me by the arm and kicked me out

i hope you're okay ryan

 

love

brendon


	24. please pick up

14th of october

dear ryan

 

i called you at least a hundred times

i messaged you just as much

please pick up

please message me back

i need to know if you're okay

 

love

brendon


	25. i hugged you as tight as possible

15th of october

dear ryan

 

you came to my place today

i hugged you as tight as possible

i'm glad nothing bad had happened

you brought your bag

you asked me if you could stay here for a while

i said yes

i would do anything for you

 

love

brendon


	26. i love making you happy

31st of october

dear ryan

 

you've been here for a while now

these past hew weeks have been so great

you are constantly laughing

i love making you laugh

i love making you happy

 

love

brendon


	27. this is too good to be true

1st of november

dear ryan

 

i told you that i loved you today

you said you loved me too

i've never been this happy in my entire life

this is too good to be true

 

love

brendon


	28. you're strong

2nd of november

dear ryan

 

you said you needed to go back home

i didn't want you to go

you comforted me and told me that it's fine

that you could handle it

i know you can

you're strong

 

love

brendon


	29. you're so distant lately

10th of november

dear ryan

 

what's wrong?

you're so distant lately

we barely kiss anymore

you don't wanna hold my hand in public

you don't tell me that you love me anymore

did i do something wrong?

 

love

brendon


	30. i just wanted to love you

11th of november

dear ryan

 

you broke up with me today

i started crying in front of you

you told me that it was you and not me

but i don't believe you

i mess up everything

i just wanted to love you

 

love brendon


	31. you're ignoring me completely

12th of december

dear ryan

 

i don't think you've ever loved me

you're ignoring me completely

don't you know that i need you?

i thought you needed me too

i know you did

 

love

brendon


	32. you do love me

2nd of january

dear ryan

 

i saw you at the library again

you were alone

i went up to you and you looked at me

i knew that look

you do love me

why are you doing this to me?

you told me you'd come over to my place tomorrow so we could talk

i miss talking to you

 

love

brendon


	33. what did i do

3rd of january

dear ryan

 

i've waited all day long

you never came

i started to make up excuses for you

there is none

you broke my heart ryan

i just want to know the reason

what did i do?

 

love

brendon


	34. i can't wait

4th of january

dear ryan

 

you called me today

you told me that your father wouldn't let you go

is it your father who is keeping you away from me?

you said you'd sneak out tonight

to see me

i can't wait

 

love

brendon


	35. you smiled

5th of january

dear ryan

 

we've spent the night together

you told me about everything

your father threatened you

he clearly doesn't like me

i told you we could keep it a secret

you smiled

i love that smile

i love you

 

love

brendon


	36. i still got to have you

6th of january

dear ryan

 

i got you back

i'm so happy

even though we're keeping it a secret

i still get to have you

i still get to love you

 

love

brendon


	37. it felt better than ever

2nd of february

dear ryan

 

you've spent the night at my place again

we kissed

it felt better than ever

you took my shirt off

i took off yours

we made love

you looked so beautiful

i didn't think it was possible to love you more than i already did

but i do

i always will

 

love

brendon


	38. our future is looking so bright

21st of april

dear ryan

 

we're gonna graduate soon

we're making a lot of plans

out future is looking so bright

we'll live together after graduation

we don't know where yet

but i don't care

as long as i get to be with you

 

love

brendon


	39. we made it

7th of may

dear ryan

 

we made it

we graduated

i love you so much

you got so brave today

you kissed me in front of your whole family

in front of your father

you won't have to see him ever again

i promise

 

love

brendon


	40. you're my everything

22nd of october

dear ryan

 

we finally found a place of our own

can you believe it?

we live together

i love you so much

nothing will ever change that

you're my everything

 

love

brendon


	41. i thought you loved me

1st of january

ryan

 

i fucking hate you

i hate you i hate you i hate you

you could you do that to me?

i thought you loved me

i hate you

 

brendon


End file.
